F L A W E D
March 20, 2008
Alright. OK. I am just going to take the dive...alright, if you have any kind of DYSLEXIA, and yes, I mean, any kind, because most people assume when you say 'dyslexia,' it automatically pertains to reading in an odd way. This is wrong. And I think you should be aware that being dyslexic means; seeing and reading (& even hearing) things, anything in a very different way. Your mind has a tendency to "scramble" whatever information you have read & been given, and you process that information in a "backwards" and "wrong" manner. The other person will automatically assume...alright, let me get this out of the way: Please, STOP assuming. It's just not cool. Assuming all the time or at all, usually leads to bad and annoying things. It's good to have an idea about something, but don't go assuming you've got it all sussed out 'cause you most likely do. not And PLEASE, stop assuming at all if you are an ARTIST...it's just wrong. As I was saying, the other person will automatically assume that you are dim, dumb or inept. It is very vital that you let the other person who is not dyslexic understand that You Are Truly Dyslexic: Do your best to let them know that you process things and see things in a completely different way. Because if you don't, life and work are going to be [a little] tough...and very interesting.
I honestly did not find out, realize that I was dyslexic until recently. No one pointed it out to me (it doesn't work that way - remember: people have the tendency to assume bad stuff) or no one even asked me; What the hell is wrong with you? For fucks sake, man! Most people, friends, teachers, lovers, co-workers just assumed I was abnormal and silly, and they were right, but NOT because I chose to be, it was my only way of comprehending with this disorder. But I did not know I was dealing with a disorder. Pretty fucking weird and scary, no? Yeah, oh yes. And as the years went by my strange and unusual behavior became a huge part of my personality. I always knew or thought that there was something wrong, off and even flawed with me, but I did not know what it was. And when I did find myself thinking, asking, questioning myself what was wrong with me, I would just associated it with me being an artist. And I just don't mean being a visual (illustration and painting) type of artist, but someone who truly immerses himself in writing (when I was young, my family members had to stop me from writing, because I would write all day and night long), creating music and of course, drawing and painting. With that bit of info and truth, I figured; well, since I truly love to learn and create whenever I get the chance to express myself, it's OK, it's only "normal" that I see and do things COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY from others.
But, like I said, I did not find out that I was DYSLEXIC until recently, a year and a half ago, to be exact. And that truly did put The Fear in me: I could not help and wonder about other people that have lived their whole life not aware of their disorder. And how difficult their life had been because of the their flaws. A really scary and saddening thing to ponder.
The way I found out I was dyslexic was through writing feverishly. It was writing non-stop that has opened up my eyes to realize that I was actually, very dyslexic. At first, I was shocked, depressed and then relieved. Relieved, because I was able to add a "new" piece of that puzzle that is: Eugene-John R.P. Of course I am nowhere near being complete, but it truly is relieving to know that I am alright, and OK.
Alright. OK. If you think or might have some idea that you are dyslexic, then I suggest you do as much research as you can. And it's cool to analyze yourself, and try to get as many answers as you possibly can get about the way you go about things and symptoms associated with dyslexia.
Because there is nothing worse than not knowing who you are ... know thyself.
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